Gay Rights Demand Homosexual Dignity

Honor is a Gentleman's trait.

Honor is a Gentleman’s trait.

I wish we would be as willing to warmly regard and express our inner beauty and kindness as we feel free to reveal our bodies to strangers. I feel deep sorrow while scrolling profile images on social networking site/app. There are several people contented to display their full or half naked seductive body pictures. I realize they are normal, decent and educated people like me in their real lives. They carry a sober and sophisticated image in their respective social circle. Then why that dignified image is not carried or accepted on gay social networking sites? Why does a person need to put his personal or a fake arousing photo to catch the attention of public? A person is a lot more than his physical body stats, his size and his role in bed. We act quite decently in real life; have a family, regular friends to hang around, colleagues to work with, hence a complete social life, where we act as a human being not gay or straight. People know us and accept us with our good and bad.

The reason for acting seductive on social sites is quite obvious. Most of us go there when in need of quick sex commonly known as a hook up. Who would want to go through the hassle of knowing the person when the superficial contact is merely meant to last for few hours or a night at the most?

I do not judge them for their actions. They have chosen a different fashion to spend life and fulfill desires. I just feel disgusted because I’m also a part of the community. I visit the site in hope to get a good company. I don’t even deny my sexual desires. But when I look at those hungry faces and greedy gestures, I truly feel embarrassed of myself. Every human being irrespective of his dynamics and background is equally respectful. No one can deny the existence of body needs and biological desires. But their pursuit shouldn’t be materialized on the cost of the human dignity and self-worth. There must be other appropriate ways to attract partner, which don’t compel us to put our naked bodies on the market shelves.

Ironically, we carry two public profiles: a decent one for real world and other slutty one for an apparently ‘fake’ community (which is in fact our real identity). Aren’t they reflecting our dual standards and hypocrisy? We can deceive anyone by our smartness but cannot lie to our conscience – the most honest accountability of the self.

Today, when there is a worldwide movement launched for gay rights and equal acceptance, it’s high time to rethink and critically analyze our practices. If we want our place in society with honor, we should take responsibility for our personal as well as sexual observance and display the conduct to prove that homosexuals are not different from straight people. We are not defined by our sexual desires. We also follow principles of morality. We regard ourselves and our fellow men with high esteem. And above all, homosexuality is a part of our personality, much higher than that, we are equal human beings.

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Living Happily with Bipolar Disorder

I don’t know if anybody noticed, I stopped writing for sometime. 2013 was the year of great setbacks and self evolution. I had been through the pain of back to back severe manic and depressive episodes, both lasted 3 months.  I went into a state of disappointment and despair and thought I would never have a peaceful life. My friends who are bipolar-homosexual could relate to my story in a better way as when these two combine, the panic is enough to make you crazy.

Later this year, when I thought things wouldn’t change and I will be living like a loser despite all degrees and shining academic portfolio, a miracle happened.. when, how, I don’t know.. but why !! Yes this I know.. because I was waiting for a miracle, that’s the only thing that could change my life. I understood that life changes with your perspective, otherwise things are the same. I am the same guy, pretty same routine,. same medications.. same family issues.. Its just that I see things differently. I will tell you HOW.

I stopped thinking about career or why do I have homosexual feelings. This is the first thing I did. then I said OK. Now What !! then I started exploring my interests, apart from those what I have been doing all these years.. instead things that I wanted to do but didn’t do for some reasons. Like I always listen to typical bollywood film music.. dance numbers etc.. so I started listening classical and folk music. and the new compositions and beats aroused me interest to explore more.. I listened to Ghazals.. Ghazal is somewhat classical sort of music belong to sub-continent. later on, I searched for creative images, starting from my laptop desktop.. I changed my cell phone tones.. I started dressing up well without a reason.. with no intention to show my friends and take compliments… Pinterest is a great platform for images of any sort. I discovered I like and understand Art.. and I literally listened to those paintings. this is the time I realized pictures do speak. and silence scream !! da feeling is wonderful.. I was knowing myself..

I always love to think and talk about life, experiences and relationships.. but urbanization somehow screwed up everything.. conversations are on skype and mobile.. most of us don’t know the charm of having a great conversation with friend or partner having cups of coffee in cool breeze in terrace.. !! I discovered a writer for me.. Paulo Coehlo. He is just an amazing person.. he has a great contribution in changing my life.. He made me see things beyond the imagination of reality. Now, I don’t see, I observe. I feel, I absorb !!

I didn’t have sex for about an year, just in a thought that whether its good to have or not… but in this very span.. a friend appeared after 5 years.. n we just had a good time on bed.. more of a cuddling and foreplay.. I was amazed to see I was too frustrated to have sex. and that time during 3 hrs neither of us ejaculated. Isnt it amazing? I don’t believe this. Now its been a week and I didn’t masturbate !! coz my soul is in peace..

What If..

I like guys. No, I don’t like guys.. But that one I saw in store was cute.. No, its just that he was good looking and straight people also like and appreciate beauty of same sex. God, why can’t I stop thinking about Barbier, he is so nice, polite, he speaks good, dresses well, so confident. And I simply like spending time with him. and last time when we met, he showed me his apartment, his room was a bit messed up but that’s ok. Room of bachelor guys is of that kind. Wait, I started liking girls. I get arousal by thinking of cute, pretty, thin delicate girl. It’s so positive that I started liking girls. Now I could marry if I find a girl of such specs in real world. Oh, I forgot I’m a Bipolar too. Would she be able to tolerate my crazy mood swings? Would she try to accommodate with my illness. What if I have cravings for a guy and same night, she needs a passionate sex. I don’t know. Seriously I don’t.

Homosexuality and SEX – Yet another perspective !!

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Gay doesn’t mean Ready-for-Sex

This is my first post on Homosexuality on this blog. I wanted to write about it before but was preoccupied with my bipolar mood fluctuations. By now, you must know I’m a bipolar Homosexual, living with two taboos in a conservative society where such people have to fight for their acceptance and rights. I don’t fall in this category because I didn’t disclose my identity. We are living in a modern world where we are exposed to changing values and perception shift. Disease like Bipolar or people belonging to different sexual orientations and preferences were always present in all times even in primitive societies as it’s about human biology and psychology. What keeps on changing is attitude of people who are subjects and objects of these taboos. Today, I see many non-profit organizations are working to raise awareness regarding mental illnesses and buying votes of sympathy for mental patients. Similarly modern societies are debating about gay rights and marriages equal to that of straight people.

Since, I could just read it on internet, I decided to write about these two things and to present my perspective, in this way created Bipolar Homosexuality (BPH).

I like to read about my disease and sexuality so that I could know myself better and at the same time express my learning and experiences to help others. There is a plenty of reading material and researches available online regarding Bipolar but unfortunately when I type keywords like Homosexuality and Gay, nude photos and dating sites appear more than the reading material. There are sites like American Psychological Association that have excellent reference material on Homosexuality.

Then there are a number of gay forums like Manjam that are more of Hook Up sites rather gay socializing. Forums like Gay Speak are doing well to provide socialization and emotional support to gay community.

It’s very unfortunate that being gay is often associated with Sex. I believe, Gay is as ‘normal’ as straight who eats, drinks, works, hang out and enjoys everything  like a straight man or woman. The only difference is about sexual preferences. Why can’t two gay men just meet over coffee or plan for a movie or dinner. Similarly, gay men can discuss a character from any book or they could even talk about politics. Why does being gay mean always-ready-for-bed. I heard gay people are more horny than straights. CRAP.

What made me write this article now is search for nice interesting boards on Pinterest I got interesting pins about Bipolar but when I put Homosexuality, nude photos appeared on my screen.

Food for thought: I just wonder if two gay men could share bed without having sex.