When Bipolar tries to be Nice

Bipolar people are generally emotional and impulsive. At times, their sudden mood swings create problems for them and others who are related to them like family, friends, and colleagues. This has nothing to do with morality and conduct. If a normal person screams at his colleague, he might be mad at him regarding work related stuff which might be a genuine reason but if a bipolar start yelling and over react in the similar situation, it is more likely to understood and perceived as bipolar mood shift. It might be true that the mistake of colleague is not that serious and he over reacted and created fuss in office because he is a bipolar. But in this case too, the seriousness of mistake should not be judged on the basis of disease.

This was just an example. More such cases happen in our families on daily basis. Anger, sorrow, frustration, excitement, these all are common moods that are experienced by every ‘normal’ and ‘abnormal’ person on this planet. In fact this happens with animals too. But when a bipolar is having a specific mood due to some particular incidence or situation, it is perceived by family as medication disturbance and they force you to plan immediate visit to doctor.

In the same way, Bipolar doesn’t afford to be ‘nice’ at all. When you care about your family, give attention to friends, organize your wardrobe, help mom in kitchen, discuss politics with dad, visit grand ma on weekend, dress up nicely, and feel good about your life, this would ring alarming bells to your family and those you have come out to. Something must have gone wrong with the medication that’s why s/he is so happy and excited. Let’s visit doctor before the condition becomes psychotic.

Talking Less to Control the Mood

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Talking Less to Control the Mood

Its always difficult to go against your nature because in that case you have to fight with yourself and the defeat actually determines your success. Our habits and lifestyle play a vital role in aggravating or healing the illness. For instance, eating excessive junk food could potentially result in obesity. Similarly, being too much emotional and responsive could be harmful for your mental health. At times, its better to let things go and move with the flow. People who take things lightly are happier than those who keep the events alive in memories. We often hear that its easy to forgive than forget. We ought to drag an argument at the point of conflict and try hard to win the debate. Apparently there is no harm in having a debate on topics of mutual interest but for a person suffering from a mental illness, it could be critical, mainly if the area of discussion has some connection with his present or past.

For instance, I become an active participant when having a discussion on social taboos like homosexuality, child abuse, women violence, morality, justice and human rights, because I could relate it in some way and get eager to express my views, At my side, I get over enthusiastic to change the mind set of people through my argument but on the other side, person who is listening to me doesn’t match with the same interest and energy. Result being, he forgets everything at the end of discussion and my job gets difficult to deal with my emotions and energy.

I realize that being too much emotional and impulsive is not a good personality trait. I could relate it to my disease. I’m practicing to be more rational and reasonable in argument. Also, talking less and to the point so that I can control my emotions while talking and do not let a plain conversation turn into a hot argument. I’m sure there must be bipolar people who are reserve and less talkative. But being bipolar when your emotions get out of control and any unpleasant or unexpected thing can trigger an extreme behavior, talking too much is not a good habit.

I do not know if I can get full or partial control on this habit but I’m happy that I have got this realization that this trait could be a potential agent for an extreme mood swing. Time will witness the result of this deliberate effort.

Yahoo! I’m Manic

I was very excited to lose 20 kg in just 3 months and as I posted my photos on Facebook, my friends were shocked to see a slim and toned version of me. I receive different sort of compliments from my real friends and ones who are just added in my Facebook as formality and comment when they couldn’t express their hatred and jealousy for me, whatsoever it is, I feel great.. Dun care what people think or how they feel (positive or negative) about my new look, I feel an evil pleasure in shocking them with new photos and status updates.. well, ironically a bipolar cannot enjoy happiness for a long period of time. I realized I stepped in from (normal) happiness & excitement to (abnormal) manic, when I had to spent hours on bed struggling to fall asleep. Meaning, all the effort which I made 2 weeks back to get myself out of depression by convincing myself with millions of a bit exaggerated or might be unrealistic reasons for being positive, happy and blessed, now I have to put double effort to get out of this ‘happiness’ and excitement that is screwing my thoughts and actions and also others who have no clue about this ‘sudden’ energy and ‘liveliness’ in my personality.

Funny, Crazy & Scary ME

Honestly, I’m glad to see myself feel out of this world. Every bipolar wishes to be manic because he doesn’t have to sit alone, alienated in a dark room, crying and regretting. Mania gives tremendous energy to bipolar and get away all his worries and negative thoughts. He starts loving his life, people around, he talks  to express all of his creative ideas, he gets naughty with his friends, flirt with girls, he likes to wash dishes even. Dancing, painting, photography.. everything attracts his interest. He wants to LIVE, to Laugh, to Shout, to Respond, to DO EVERYTHING and Anything..

Most importantly, he speaks the TRUTH.. The truth about himself, about his friends, family.. which nobody can afford in this hypocrite world. Everybody watches porn or if you’re a cinema goer, your family knows that you do watch romantic scenes on ‘big’ screen.. But if you share any image or status on Facebook, which is not good enough to fulfill the requirement of so called decency (not talking about nudity) people start doing their favorite pass time job.. they get judgmental about your character. They start doubting about the person’s state of mind (if he acts ‘normal’ or ‘different’ previously). Their feedback makes a bipolar feel that something is going wrong. But he doesn’t care because he considers his basic Right to Express himself without being bothered about social norms. He thinks ‘To hell with People’ ‘I don’t Care’ ‘What the Fuck’ etc. and interestingly non-bipolar can think this too, there is a growing number of teens and young people who give a damn about society and conventional perceptions of wide majority. But a Bipolar does not enjoy this luxury. He doesn’t afford to fuck the society. He can’t act upon a very popular phrase “BE YOURSELF” “BE NATURAL”. Because, Being Natural for a Bipolar means he has to increase his medication dose.

I urge for a scale when bipolar can measure his state of mind and restrict himself to a point where he is not very sad and not even happy Because, Being Sad is Depression and Being Happy is Mania.