WOW I wanna do this – Hell NO, I Hate it

Almost everyone has mood swings taking place in different situations but bipolar mood swings could be highly unpredictable and dangerous at the same time. My good mood makes the world so attractive for me that every little thing catches my attention, the world becomes so beautiful that it makes me thankful to God for sending me here and for His countless blessings. Interestingly, every hobby inspires me. I always like to have an aquarium at home but unfortunately my fish die very soon for the unknown reasons, knowing this fact I insisted again to get an aquarium and bought a small one few months back (when I was Hypomanic) I decorated it with plants and toys and put a pair of goldfish. I was properly taking care with their feed and oxygen and loved watching them swimming in water. I heard looking at aquarium lowers down your blood pressure and it is healthy for your brain because of a relaxing effects. But my excitement didn’t last for long and both of the fish died in 3-4 days. This made me realized that I couldn’t keep an aquarium and my interest that was so high in keeping an aquarium shifted to decorate the house with beautiful paintings and decoration pieces. I insisted to get some plants for balcony and stairs. In the same phase I enjoyed reading, talking to friends, traveling, dining out. These things make hypomania very exciting and adventurous but unfortunately my elevated mood lead to manic episode and I lost my consciousness and collapsed. Thankfully I wasn’t hospitalized this time and I recovered at home with high dose of medications. 

Three months later this mania turns into depression and I lost interest in almost everything including eating and talking to my family. Same life that was so beautiful few days ago becomes horrible and meaningless though things didn’t change that much. Only my inner state of mind was changed. Most often it happens that things that are attractive in happy mood lose their value in depression. Same happens with the decisions that you take in one episode appear foolish when you are no longer in that mood. And the cycle goes on like this.

I think stability is something that a bipolar cannot achieve in life. However he is blessed and very lucky if he has got control on his mood swings through medicines and lifestyle changes. We shouldn’t give up on this and keep moving in a flow, and should not get depress or blame ourselves. Explore yourself and look for good things that differentiate you from others rather comparing and lowering your self esteem.

Keep smiling, it doesn’t cost you 🙂 

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